I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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