New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
