Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
