I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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