yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
