If i come over, it means nothing
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
