all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
