How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
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you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
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shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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