Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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