can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
