Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
