Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize