My first STD was from a foam party
Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.