Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.