She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes