Texts From Last Night

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.

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  (520): Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents. http://tfl.nu/dtw6
  Replies (5) Good night (4339) Bad night (1231)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.

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  (608): no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed. http://tfl.nu/ynv2
  Replies (13) Good night (5381) Bad night (926)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.

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  (570): do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome. http://tfl.nu/5az6
  Replies (5) Good night (5204) Bad night (751)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?

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  (443): Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree? http://tfl.nu/odr7
  Replies (10) Good night (2973) Bad night (941)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor

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  (780): A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/h37q
  Replies (14) Good night (2664) Bad night (995)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things

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  (519): My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things http://tfl.nu/16j6
  Replies (11) Good night (1168) Bad night (2634)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.

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  (906): it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something. http://tfl.nu/su0x
  Replies (3) Good night (1144) Bad night (964)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop

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  (908): Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop http://tfl.nu/suxm
  Replies (12) Good night (2008) Bad night (776)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.

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  (757): I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet. http://tfl.nu/keov
  Replies (8) Good night (821) Bad night (1231)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home

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  (423): I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in (1-423): Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home http://tfl.nu/1crt
  Replies (4) Good night (576) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.

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  (443): I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done. http://tfl.nu/8szd
  Replies (10) Good night (1348) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration

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  (617): I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration http://tfl.nu/vmlp
  Replies (5) Good night (532) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.

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  (858): Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water. http://tfl.nu/wcrd
  Replies (2) Good night (368) Bad night (657)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.

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  (+44): If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned. http://tfl.nu/qyit
  Replies (8) Good night (438) Bad night (1248)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will

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  (415): If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will http://tfl.nu/eboo
  Replies (4) Good night (955) Bad night (341)

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