You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i was born a porn star she said
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
