watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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