Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha

  (1-760): View more from California

  I hate my life

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  (760): Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha (1-760): I hate my life http://tfl.nu/oavx
  Replies (12) Good night (627) Bad night (3008)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going

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  (303): Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going http://tfl.nu/w65t
  Replies (9) Good night (4157) Bad night (1871)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend

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  (204): Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend http://tfl.nu/gyj1
  Replies (22) Good night (1108) Bad night (2755)
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  (212): View more from New York

  we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy

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  (212): we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy http://tfl.nu/2r3y
  Replies (6) Good night (2917) Bad night (1762)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.

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  (828): I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh. http://tfl.nu/gg69
  Replies (5) Good night (599) Bad night (2149)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.

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  (636): I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together. http://tfl.nu/hsqn
  Replies (3) Good night (1859) Bad night (1333)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.

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  (905): Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today. http://tfl.nu/u9so
  Replies (37) Good night (1289) Bad night (2970)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.

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  (603): I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment. http://tfl.nu/fbcm
  Replies (1) Good night (887) Bad night (461)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm

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  (585): Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm http://tfl.nu/bhwz
  Replies (9) Good night (633) Bad night (3454)
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  (831): View more from California

  I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.

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  (831): I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick. http://tfl.nu/d0cr
  Replies (7) Good night (1666) Bad night (546)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.

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  (419): You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'. http://tfl.nu/upi6
  Replies (5) Good night (1185) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode

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  (425): Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode http://tfl.nu/uu73
  Replies (5) Good night (466) Bad night (701)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.

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  (512): Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night. http://tfl.nu/nub3
  Replies (6) Good night (817) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend

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  (602): Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend http://tfl.nu/pyzq
  Replies (4) Good night (333) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall

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  (708): At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall http://tfl.nu/xpwv
  Replies (5) Good night (381) Bad night (866)

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