well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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