Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
