Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize