He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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