youre lurking in front of me
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize