I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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