Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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