I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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