I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
