ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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