Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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