Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
this hospital has no fireball
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
