How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
