That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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