u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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