So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
