she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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