youre lurking in front of me
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
