I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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