Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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