My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
