How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
