I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
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Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
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I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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