Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
