we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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