Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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