I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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