Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
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Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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