Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We just shotgunned beers for America
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
