just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i believe in u and ur pee