the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
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i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
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When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?