the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
how drunk are you?