coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
3 2 1 whiskey
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.