Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
love makes seman taste better
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
