So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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