Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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