He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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