I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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