I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
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You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
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where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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