What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I smell like Dick and happiness
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize