we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
