just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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