Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize