Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
