is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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